My Christmas Message

To the theocratic wing of the Reep Party, and anyone else who's fond of believing that Christmas is under assault by an army of Godless self-important villains, I say this:

You're absolutely right.

Unfortunately, you seem to be missing the boat on who's actually behind this. The corruption of Christmas is not the result of some liberal/secular/homosexual plot against Christianity. It's the product of rampant cynical commercialism, as practiced by the other half of your party: the PR people, the marketeers, the salesmen.

It's a perfect scheme for a party, really -- one half of the party creates the problem, and gets rich in the process, while the other half of the party is outraged and driven to the polls, where they proceed to give more power to the people who created the problem in the first place.

So Merry Christmas to everyone, and if you want to know who's really attacking your faith, look to your own house. Save the "War on Christmas" debates for the Reep primaries, and please, please, please, leave the rest of us out of it.

Once more around the sun we go.


Dan Trabue said...

Well, sure. If you're the type to believe the earth rotates around the sun! Science nerd.

catastrophile said...